The McDonald Venturi Bunch
by jeytonlover
Summary: Flashfic written for moirariordan.


**It's official, I've sunk to an all time low. Please don't hold this against me. I can write good stories, really I can.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek, the several different Brady Bunch episodes that are referenced here and you have absolutely no idea how much I wish I didn't own this story.**

* * *

Casey woke up and looked around her room. Rubbing her eyes she looked again but still saw the same thing. There were brightly colored flowers everywhere and beads hanging over her closet. She became even more confused when she looked around and saw Lizzie and Marti in the same room, matching twin comforters and all. 

Somehow this all seemed oddly familiar to her but at the same time she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Maybe this was reality and she had dreamed about living in the twenty-first century. All of a sudden everything was just so confusing. She was brought out of her thoughts by the door opening and a woman walking in wearing a maid's uniform.

Sitting up in her bed she looked at the woman questioningly, "Aunt Madge?"

"Well, I guess you can call me that if you want Casey, but Madge will do just fine."

Now she was really confused. What was real and what wasn't? She wasn't sure any more.

Getting up she walked into the bathroom and was greeted by Derek standing over the sink, gargling with mouthwash. She almost laughed out loud at the get-up he had on. Bell bottoms and a satin shirt, had she entered the twilight zone? He spit out the mouthwash and it splashed onto her nightgown. Wait, since when in the world did she wear a long nightgown? "That's sick Derek. Watch what you're doing."

"I was, and it went exactly where I wanted it too."

"What's your deal? Are you still mad because I beat you over the driver's license thing?"

"Not quite! And I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me what my deal is. Have you forgotten I told you to specifically not go out with Jason Roberts? You know he's the captain of the hockey team at Fairland and yet you went out last night with him anyway. I just don't understand you sometimes. I thought we…"

"What?" She asked, as pieces started to fit together.

"I know that things aren't perfect between us, but I never thought you'd stoop that low. I can't find my playbook now and Edwin swears he saw Jason looking at it while he was waiting for you to come down."

"But…"

"Forget it Casey, but remember, cheerleading tryouts are today and I hold the key to your future…"

"You wouldn't?"

"Oh wouldn't I? In fact I was on the phone with Amy last night and she was very friendly?"

"But Amy hates me and she doesn't want me on the squad and …"

"I guess two can play your game can't they Case?" he asked as he started to walk away and then he turned around and looked at her again, "And don't you think you need to lay off the food? You're getting a little round around the middle," he threw in before he walked out of the room and left her standing there to think.

Casey looked down at her stomach and she was horrified to see that he was right. Since when did she ever have anything but a completely flat stomach and abs?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She walked into the kitchen and saw her mom and George sitting at the table as Madge poured their coffee.

Nora looked up and smiled at Casey, "So today's your big day, huh? Good luck at cheerleading tryouts but I'm sure you won't need them."

Casey smiled at her mother, grateful for her support, but perhaps she smiled a little too soon.

"And I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but maybe you might want to think about what you wear for tryouts. You're looking kind of bloated this morning."

Casey looked down and saw that her stomach appeared to be even bigger. There was now a definite pooch hanging over her plaid mini-skirt. She pulled her sweater out of her bag and put it on, now even more self-conscience about her appearance.

She grabbed an apple off the counter and walked into the living room to find Edwin, Lizzie and Marti all huddled together. They were looking through Edwin's new detective kit and whispering back and forth to one another.

"What are you doing?" she asked walking up to them.

Their eyes got big and they immediately began to deny anything.

"Well, if I had the time and energy I'd drag it out of you, but right now I've got to get to school and I have cheerleading tryouts to worry about."

She slipped her shoes on and walked out the door and Marti looked at the other two, "Maybe instead of using your kit to find Nora's missing earring, we could use it to find out why Casey's getting so fat."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Casey walked through the halls of SJTS High until she reached her locker. She was very relieved to see that Emily was standing there waiting for her. "Emily, I'm so glad to see a friendly face, today has been so confusing and…"

Just then she heard a look out and turned in time to be hit in the face by a ball that Derek had failed to catch. She immediately reached up and grabbed her throbbing nose.

Derek ran up to her and she was shocked for a moment to see a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," she said as she removed her hands from her face. Her eyes got big as she heard a collective gasp go completely through the hallway.

"What?" she asked as she began to panic.

Derek just shook his head and didn't say a word as Emily also looked on in horror. Finally Ralph spoke up, "Oh my God, look at the size of her nose, the only thing bigger than her nose is her gut."

Casey opened her locker door and peered into the mirror that hung inside. "Oh no, oh no, what did you do to me Derek. You did this to me?"

"I did it too you? I might have missed the ball but you're the one that turned right into it. Don't blame it all on me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Finally the bell rang and it was time to prepare for tryouts. Casey changed and tried to get her shirt to go over her increasingly large belly and tried to put makeup over her swollen and bruised nose.

Finally her name was called and she walked out in front of everyone. She heard some snickers and self-consciously pulled her shirt down a little longer. She placed her hands on her hips, holding tightly to her pom-poms. Taking a deep breath she began her cheer, "Who are you yelling for, Bulldogs, Bulldogs. Who are you yelling for, Bulldogs are the best." Looking around she began it again and realized that absolutely no one was yelling with her and that people were pointing at her and laughing.

She stopped in the middle of the cheer and threw her hands up to her face. "I don't always look like this really; Derek missed the ball and it hit me in the nose. And I don't know why I look so fat. I'm not fat, really I'm not," she said.

Derek moved away from the table he had been sitting at and walked towards her. He put an arm around her and tried to guide her off the gym floor. "Come on Case, I think it's time to go."

She angrily pulled away from him. "No this is all your fault or at least I'm sure it is somehow. And why do I look so fat? I don't know why I look so fat," she started to cry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was one o'clock in the morning when Derek walked through the front door to see a 'Brady Bunch' marathon playing on the television and cold pizza, old Chinese food and a half empty tub of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream melting on the table.

And then he saw his wife tossing and turning on the coach saying, "No this is all your fault or at least I'm sure it is somehow. And why do I look so fat? I don't know why I look so fat."

He quietly placed his bags down in the entryway and made his way over to the couch. Sitting down lightly so that he wouldn't scare her he ran his fingers through her hair. "Casey? Baby you need to wake up. You're having a bad dream and you need to wake up. Case?"

Slowly her eyes opened and he could tell that she was still very disoriented. Her hands immediately moved up to feel her nose and she was relieved to see that it felt normal but then her hands and eyes traveled down to her stomach and she panicked. "Oh my gosh, I am fat," she said as she started to hyperventilate.

Derek placed both his hands on her shoulders and made her look him straight in the eyes. "Case, please calm down, it can't be good for the baby?"

"Baby?" she asked.

"Uh yeah, you just had a bad dream. And I can understand why with the plethora of food you took in tonight. You're not fat, you're pregnant and there's a big difference."

"But it all seemed so real and…"

"Come on. I think you need our bed and me to make you feel better, right?"

"Right," she said as she smiled at him and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

He helped her up off the couch and began to lead her upstairs. She stopped for a moment and turned back and looked at her beautifully modern home and smiled. Thank God it was all a bad dream, a combination of too much TV Land and way too much food. And above all thank God she wasn't really fat.

* * *

**So, this was written for moirariordan and the prompt was: AU - LWD - being the "modern" Brady Bunch and all, let's throw Derek and Casey back in the swinging 70's. How would things be the same? Different?**

**Now I totally understand that basically what I did was not what she asked for but it was as close as I could get. You can asked Brandi and Allie, I've worried about this thing since the moment I got it. I'm really sorry Meagan, I know I don't know you and now I'm sure I never will.**

**Look for a new chapter of Moments in our Lives either tomorrow or Thursday. **


End file.
